Encouraging feedback on racial injustice starts with getting some yourself
Leaders,
If creating a diverse and inclusive environment is a future state goal for your organization, you need to start with a culture that makes it safe to provide feedback. Are you ready to hear it yourself?
Examine Yourself
Having young adults in your life is a great way to get feedback on just about everything including racial insensitivity. Just ask me. Encourage those that love you to call you out when something you’ve said or done (or not said or done) feels inappropriate to them. Then discuss it.
How good are you at hearing feedback? How about soliciting feedback? When you lead change, getting feedback is a super-power you must harness and use. You need feedback to know where you stand with those you are asking to change — both on the change you are asking people to make and on yourself as a leader.
Without personal feedback, you don’t learn your areas for improvement and you don’t grow like you would otherwise.
Eliminate Fear of Retaliation
We all need feedback in order to growth and be better. What can hold someone back from pointing out a racist comment or action is fear of retaliation. Retaliation from a co-worker or manager can be overt or covert. If you are asking and encouraging your employees to callout inappropriate behavior (and I hope you are), make sure you have a solid plan for what you will do when they do, including validating the accusation and protecting the accuser.
Call it out
Sometimes, inappropriate comments shock me so much that I become mute. Over time, I’ve learned that it’s critical to call out the inappropriate language right away. This shows that the comments won’t be tolerated. The issue is handled head on.
Here are my two phrases that I have at the ready to use when that uncomfortable moment strikes:
· You may not realize it, but that comment (repeat it) is hurtful.
· I don’t think you meant for that comment to be offensive, but please know that it was.
Accept that you have room to grow
It’s hard to get feedback that you’ve done something wrong, especially if you didn’t realize another person would think it was hurtful. It’s embarrassing and shameful.
Yet feedback is a gift. As such, you need to acknowledge that it comes from a place of goodness. I remember all the tough feedback I’ve received. In the moment, it upset me. It was embarrassing. But over time, I was grateful to those people that took a risk and helped me grow both personally and professionally.
When getting feedback that something you said or did was offensive, here are two ways to respond that will encourage more feedback:
· Thank you for letting me know I was offensive. I appreciate you pointing it out.
· Thank you for that feedback. I didn’t mean to be hurtful. I see now that I was.
Times are difficult right now. One thing I’ve learned in the past few weeks is the importance of taking a look deep inside to understand how to do better. Because no matter who we are, we can always do better.
As leaders, our job is to create an environment where having tough conversations can take place. From there, we can get real. We can be honest. It’s true, we definitely will get uncomfortable. But we will learn. We will learn much. And it is only then that we can truly begin to see progress toward a more diverse and inclusive organization.
About me: I am passionate about getting the workplace culture right. I know that cold hard facts combined with compassion is what is needed to motivate individuals to do the hard work that change requires. I help leaders determine what they need to do to modernize their culture and workplace to make it smart, safe and inspiring. I also train people leaders to role model and inspire development of In Real Life business skills that promote camaraderie, relational equity, innovation and belonging.
Here are related stories for leaders. Download or order your copy of my book Disconnected for more practical ideas for how to deliver realness, meaning and belonging to your youngest workers. Visit www.colleenmcfarland.us for more information.
