Catching up with Uncle Franny
What this picture is
This is a picture of my Uncle Franny. He is wearing a coat and tie and sitting on a couch in my grandparents’ living room. Next to him is my sister Sheila, and next to her is our sister Eileen. In front of them is our cousin, Megan. They have fixed their hair and are wearing their Christmas bests. They are catching up with Uncle Franny before we have the Christmas feast.
No doubt, they have been enjoying his Irish brogue and the mannerisms that were uniquely his. My favorite Uncle Franny mannerism was when he answered a question in the affirmative. He would shake his head and rapidly say “yah-yah-yah-yah-yah.”
Why I saved this picture
Uncle Franny was my grandpa’s youngest brother. He lived a half mile down the road from my grandparents. He farmed and worked in a cannery. He never married.
Uncle Franny was a predictable fixture in our lives as kids. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas when we went to our grandparents’ house, he was there. Plus, we’d see him occasionally throughout the year.
We consistently heard about his happenings from our grandma, who remained his friend and included him in family events, long after my grandpa passed away.
Our grandma was a kin-keeper.
She promoted family connectedness. She organized family gatherings, ensuring we came together to celebrate special occasions, which allowed us to spend time together. She had the pulse of what was happening with her relatives. She shared updates on life events, and she let us know when a relative was facing challenges and needed support.
Because of my grandma’s efforts and example, I grew up with a sense of security. I knew my families’ ties extended far and wide, and should I need any one of them, they were there for me.
Plus, my life is better because of the conversations and connections with relatives that enriched my childhood.
Be a kin-keeper and model IRL conversations
Look for ways to regularly connect those in your life, especially those with whom you have a shared history.
Stop and consider who you can bring together, be it family or work friends. Then organize and coordinate the get-together.
Make it a point to include young people at your gatherings and in your conversations.
They need you to create the opportunities for gathering together. Promote and maybe insist on their participation.
Model for them the importance and goodness that comes from reconnection through in-person conversation.
All of this will help them develop the IRL (In Real Life) skills that will keep them be strong and healthy.
As I sit here and think about my Uncle Franny and all of the others that benefitted from my grandma being a kin-keeper, I’m inspired to be more like her.
I wonder what funny mannerisms and sayings the family will remember about me!
About me: I am passionate about getting the workplace culture right. I know that cold hard facts combined with compassion is what is needed to motivate individuals to do the hard work that change requires. I help leaders determine what they need to do to modernize their culture and workplace to make it smart, safe and inspiring. I also train people leaders to role model and inspire development of In Real Life business skills that promote camaraderie, relational equity, innovation and belonging.
Here are related stories for leaders. Download or order your copy of my book Disconnected for more practical ideas for how to deliver realness, meaning and belonging to your youngest workers. Visit www.colleenmcfarland.us for more information.
